Super Smash Brothers: The Brawling Manifesto
by InfernoxPhoenix
Summary: 18-year-old Inferno looks for solace in an oppresive society through a videogame. Little does she know, the threat of Judeo-Christian beliefs have plagued the world of Nintendo. She must liberate the proletariats of the shackles of the capitalist pigs. [Unaffectionate parody and antithesis of the trollfic Supper Smash Bros: Mishonh From God by PrincessAmerica.]


h3 id="work" class="landmark heading" style="border-width: 0px 0px 0.25em; border-bottom-style: double; border-bottom-color: #333333; outline: 0px; font-weight: 500; font-size: 0px; font-family: Georgia, serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0.125em; line-height: 0; opacity: 0; height: 0px; clear: both; color: transparent; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Chapter Text/h3  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Inferno returned home from her daily life as a political science undergraduate. Afterschool, however, her agitated life played backseat to her love of video games. Specifically, Super Smash Brothers. With those few words, all knowledge of the patriarchal free economy slipped away. She could cut through the necks of the capitalist pigs as Marth, shoot down the heads of the male chauvinists as Fox, and consume the very bodies of conservative sheep as Kirby. Yes, it was a most beautiful world. One match against her best friend Jenn would kill her burning anger. /p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"But one day, everything changed./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Inferno booted the disc as normal, selecting the channel on the Wii, booting the game. But then a message on a blank screen flashed instead of the opening cutscene./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She sat in her dorm, confused by the message on her screen./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""FORNICKETE INN HELL, SINAR"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"'Fornicate? As in, sex? What the hell?' She thought, reaching up to reset the Wii in hopes to remedy the situation./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"The Wii refused to reset. The bigoted message stood defiantly against the colorless background as it did prior./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She tried to unplug it, but just as she touched the power chord, she began to black out. She felt a strong feeling of motion, akin to that of being on an airplane. A cool breeze overcame her, leaving her in a dreamlike state./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"When she awoke, she heard screaming./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Eww! This lesbian is trying to rape me!"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""No, I'm trying to get you to shut up. No one takes kindly to bigots here!"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She began to open her eyes, slowly, gaining a vision of the ceiling appearing./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""What'sa with all-a the commotion? Who'sa these-a girls, Samus?"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Hell if I know, anybody seen them?"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Perhaps they're tacticians, sent to aid us against the Subspace?"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""They look more like my friends in Eagleland..."/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Inferno stood up, making sure to pull down her shorts down to kill the male gaze to her badass skullcrushing thighs. She fixed her bangs, which curved sharply in a sidesweept do. Her hair, which barely graced her collarbones, was a deep mahogany, cut just so that it framed her venus-fist necklace and killer DD's that were accented by a VS push-up bra. She wore a red flannel shirt over a pink v-neck shirt and white camisole. Her winged eyeliner looked sharp enough to slit the throats of conservative sheep, while her smokey eyeshadow screamed matriarchy. Her red hi-tops and pink stockings left a tiny window of pale flesh to her short dark denim shorts. Her brand new iPhone 5S, crafted in the beautiful People's Republic of China, peeked out of her back pocket./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Tl;dr: She looked fucking incredible. And she isn't a mary-sue, you uncultured capitalist swines./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Nevertheless, she got up, and straightened her plaid top./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'll have you know that your oppression isn't welcomed here. Go kiss Fox News' theoretical ass and get out of my face." she spat, her feminist necklace gleaming with triumph./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Eek! Another lesbian! Save me, my noble swordsmen!" The young, prepubescent girl shrieked, as Marth and Link glared at the girl./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I do not kill bystanders, my lady. Until she poses a threat my blade shall not see bloodshed." Marth retorted./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She grumbled something about him being androgynos scum, and ran out the door to the battlefields./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I'ma so sorry she attacked you...she's been lecturing us for-a days now." Mario explained./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Princess Zelda bowed./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Welcome to the Smash Mansion. We do not know why you have arrived so abruptly, but we welcome you nonetheless. Kirby will begin making supper, Solid Snake will asess your fighting skill, Ike will add you to the roster, and..."/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Zelda looked around the room./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Would someone please accompany Miss..."/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Inferno."/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Inferno...to her bedroom?"/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Inferno felt a light tug at her left hand. She looked up, and holding her hand was the remarkably handsome Marth./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""I will accompany her to her quarters."/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Zelda laughed, and handed her a swipeable card with your identification./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;""Enjoy your time at the Smash Mansion. We will call you for supper."/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"-/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Inferno had gone upstairs to the tenants for the fighters had been. Incredibly, her room looked like that of a 5-star hotel. Everything from real life had transferred over into her dorm. Her king-sized bed was more than enough for her, and the jacuzzi/bathtub was simply too large for just one person./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Damn, it was as if this was a poorly written Self Insert. (Plot twist: it is.)/p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"Inferno looked over her shoulder. The very visage of her 14-year old lucid wet dreams was in her very room. She knew he was canonically in love with someone else, but.../p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"She rewoke her Wii Remote and quickly pulled Marth into a kiss, pushing him down into her bed./p  
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"A little bit of 'VS. Mode' couldn't kill anyone, right?/p 


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